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• What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse. • What did one hat say to the other? You wait here. I’ll go on a head. • What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador. • What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny. • What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot. • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent. • What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen. • What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. • Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away. • What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison. • What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer? The space bar. • Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? Because it was cultured. • What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code. • Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They each go six months......
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly! Cows go, “Moo!” Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owls go. Owls go who? That’s right! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase. Knock, knock. Who’s there? An interrupting cow An interrupt—MOO! Knock, knock. Who's there? Moose. Moose who? Moose you be so nosy? Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken my pocket but I can't find my keys! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Geese. Geese who? Geese what I got in the mail today? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey bee a dear and get the door for me? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at this game ! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rhino. Rhino who? Rhino every knock knock joke there is, so there's no use in telling any more. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Who. Who who? What are you, an owl? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roach. Roach who? Roach you a letter, and I’m putting it in your .....
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just ransomware. I'm being attacked by Russian hackers! Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day. You know what hackers did when Police showed up at their house? They ransomware safe. What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught? They get sent to Cyberia. What happens to German hackers when they encounter anti-cheat software? They get an autobahn. Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal? It was non-binary. Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because Oct31 = Dec25. Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are. It's a handsomeware attack. Hackers in a movie be like lasdkfjhehdfvjdkfhier dhghtwoief ghih egjiufye r I'm in. Why are dentists really good hackers? Because they always get root access. What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting calle.....
Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Odysseus. | Odysseus who? | Odysseus the last straw! Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Abe. | Abe who? | Abe-C-D-E! Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Nicholas. | Nicholas who? | A Nicholas not much money these days. Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Candice. Candice who? | Candice door open or am I stuck out here? Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Annie. | Annie who? | Annie way can you let me in? Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Robin. | Robin who? | Robin you! Now hand over the cash. Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Justin. | Justin who? | Justin time for dinner! Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Sarah. | Sarah who? | Is Sarah phone I could use? Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Alice. | Alice who? | Alice fair in love and war Knock knock. | Who’s there? | Daisy. | Daisy who? | Daisy me rolling, they hating… Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Cher. | Cher who? | Cher would be nice if you opened the door! Knock, knock. | Who’s there? | Gorilla. | Gorilla who? | Gorilla me a hambu.....
What does a baby computer call his father? Data What do you call a computer superhero? A Screen Saver Why did the computer cross the road? To get a byte to eat Who chases computer criminals? A hacker-tracker What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of Memory What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer? A machine that has a bark worse than its byte Why was the computer so angry? Because it had a chip on its shoulder Why did the computer get glasses? To improve its websight Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus Where do computers go to dance? The disk-o.....
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect". I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer. Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal. Did you know my iphone is also a remote control? Lets go somewhere remote and you can.....
Knock Knock Who’s there? No bell. No bell who? Well you win the prize! Knock knock Who’s there? A kish A kish who? But I hardly know you! Knock knock Who’s there? Dumder dumder d Dumder Dumbder d who? Thanks for the dramatic music. Knock knock Who’s there? Cuck Cuck who? Is it spring already. Knock knock Who’s there? Bamb Bamb who? Are we making furniture again? Knock knock Who’s there? Skid Skid who? Is it snowing? Knock Knock Jokes Knock knock Who’s there? Vindal Vindal who? Great my dinners here! Knock knock Who’s there? Pell Pellwho? Thanks my necks sore. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lee. P. Lee P. who? Lippy neighbour aren’t you? Knock knock Who’s there? Bradley. Bradley who? Bradly spelled badly. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Can this be the beginning of something beautiful? Knock Knock. Who’s there? Kerry. Kerry who? Kerry me home, I’m too drunk to walk. Knock knock. Who’s there? Gareth Gareth who? Gar ate my phone or I would have called......
Knock knock Who’s there? Nina Tent Nina Tent who? Let’s play Mario! Knock knock Who’s there? Int Int who? In to your house is where I want to be. Knock knock Who’s there? Wand Wand who? Want to come answer the door already! Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Who’s there? Knock Knock Who’s there? Doorbell repairman. Knock knock Who’s there? No bell No bell who? No bell that’s why I knocked Knock knock Who’s there? Reed Reed who? I’ve got to redo it? Ok knock knock Knock Knock Jokes Knock knock Who’s there? Ash Ash who? It sounds like you’re catching a cold. Knock knock Who’s there? GrayZ GrayZ who? A grayz who mixed up kid! Knock knock Who’s there? Yah Yah who? Settle down, cowboy! Knock knock Who’s there? Hail Hail who? Hail who to you to! Knock knock Who’s there? Alice who Alice who? A list of reasons you should let me in. Knock knock Who’s there? Who who Who-who-who? Santa is that you? Knock knock Who’s there? Dinj Dinj who? Dinjwho hears me ringing the be.....
What's big, black and steals your credit card mastercard and visa too with swift cvv2? My Laptop . What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught? They get sent to Cyberia. What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called? Anonymous Anonymous What is a hackers favorite pop group? The Black IP’s CAPS LOCK: Preventing Logins Since 1980. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarves. Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card? Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. +++++++++++++++ A guy's credit card gets stolen, and after a couple of months he finally goes to the police to report it. Cop: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card before now? Guy: The thief was spending less money than my wife. Cop: Then why are you reporting it now? Guy: I think the thief's wife started using it. I’m really good at managing my credit card... ...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding. .....