Best and funniest computer, programming and hacker jokes

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just ransomware. I'm being attacked by Russian hackers! Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day. You know what hackers did when Police showed up at their house? They ransomware safe. What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught? They get sent to Cyberia. What happens to German hackers when they encounter anti-cheat software? They get an autobahn. Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal? It was non-binary. Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because Oct31 = Dec25. Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are. It's a handsomeware attack. Hackers in a movie be like lasdkfjhehdfvjdkfhier dhghtwoief ghih egjiufye r I'm in. Why are dentists really good hackers? Because they always get root access. What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting calle........

Computers and Internet Funny Clean Jokes

What does a baby computer call his father? Data What do you call a computer superhero? A Screen Saver Why did the computer cross the road? To get a byte to eat Who chases computer criminals? A hacker-tracker What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of Memory What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer? A machine that has a bark worse than its byte Why was the computer so angry? Because it had a chip on its shoulder Why did the computer get glasses? To improve its websight Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus Where do computers go to dance? The disk-o.....

Funny IT, Computers and smart Phones Short Jokes

  I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect". I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer. Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal. Did you know my iphone is also a remote control? Lets go somewhere remote and you can........

Very Funny banck Credit Cards Jokes

  What's big, black and steals your credit card mastercard and visa too with swift cvv2? My Laptop . What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught? They get sent to Cyberia. What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called? Anonymous Anonymous What is a hackers favorite pop group? The Black IP’s CAPS LOCK: Preventing Logins Since 1980. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarves. Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card? Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. +++++++++++++++ A guy's credit card gets stolen, and after a couple of months he finally goes to the police to report it. Cop: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card before now? Guy: The thief was spending less money than my wife. Cop: Then why are you reporting it now? Guy: I think the thief's wife started using it. I’m really good at managing my credit card... ...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding. ........