Best and funniest computer, programming and hacker jokes

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

I'm being attacked by Russian hackers!

Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.

You know what hackers did when Police showed up at their house?

They ransomware safe.

What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught?

They get sent to Cyberia.

What happens to German hackers when they encounter anti-cheat software?

They get an autobahn.

Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal?

It was non-binary.

Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because Oct31 = Dec25.

Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are.

It's a handsomeware attack.

Hackers in a movie be like

lasdkfjhehdfvjdkfhier dhghtwoief ghih egjiufye r

I'm in.

Why are dentists really good hackers?

Because they always get root access.

What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called?

Anonymous Anonymous.

What day of the year are there no hackers on PUBG?

Chinese New Year.

Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?

/ussr/bin/

I asked our security specialist, “How did the hackers get away?”

Miffed, he shrugged and answered, “No idea. They ransomware.”

What do interested chemists and 12 year-old hackers have in common?

Inspect element.